Important philosophical questions that I want the answers to

While riding the train into the city one morning, I started thinking of some really random things, which to tell you truth, is something I do quite often (actually more often than I’d care to admit). I think most of you who follow me on Twitter will recall one day last week where I just went haywire with some very nonsensical tweets because I was literally tweeting everything that was going through my head. Anyways. During this bout, and other instances, of thinking of random and mostly nonsensical things (and random nonsensical thoughts since then), I have poised myself to ask the universe some questions that are truly mind-boggling (well, to me at least).

1. Why can’t Starbucks get my name right?

Do I have a hard name to spell? I don’t think I do. I mean, it’s a palindrome for crying out loud! You can spell it the same way forwards and backwards, and it’s not like it’s those crazy three-worded palindromes, either. My name is six whole letters. SIX. It contains two each of the following: H, A and N. It’s not that hard. HANNAH. Yet, Starbucks just can’t seem to get my name right AT ALL. Since I started going to the same Starbucks almost routinely in the morning before work, you would think that the baristas would recognize me enough to get my name right. I’m not asking them to memorize my order. All I’m asking is that you know how to properly spell my very easily spelled six-letter name. Why, Starbucks? Why?

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Apparently I’m a shamu.

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Hey, as long as I get to be in a Disney movie I guess it’s okay.

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Hello, My name is HÁna and I come from a foreign land that even I do not know the name of.

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SO CLOSE, Starbucks. So close.

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Once, they didn’t even name me.

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Love is an open Starbucks.

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Elsa. Just call me Elsa.

2. Why hasn’t National Treasure 3 been made yet?

This has been one of the more important questions on my mind for the last seven years. Yes, SEVEN years. Now, if you know me like most of you probably know me, you’ll know that about 95% of the time I find history uninteresting and am vastly terrible at remembering things I learned in history classes, regardless of the grade level. However, there is that small 5% of me that enjoys some history. And by some I really mean a sliver because my historical knowledge, as I so eloquently stated a few sentences back, is minuscule at best. I sometimes enjoy American history, and sometimes European history (basically just, like, London and Paris because those places are super cool and England has a QUEEN).

Anyways, this all points to the fact that I love Disney’s National Treasure movies. Like, these are movies that Nicholas Cage is actually decent in. And Justin Bartha is freaking adorable, too. I would SO love to find an actual treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence and go adventuring through the hidden basements miles under old churches to find the lost treasure that was saved from the Revolutionary War. The end of National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets left me, and most other fans, I’m sure, wondering what in God’s good name is on page 47 of the president’s secret book?!?!?!

So, being the curious person that I can sometimes be, I looked up what could possibly be going on with National Treasure 3. According to IMDB and Wikipedia (which I know aren’t completely accurate, but at least it’s something!) there’s some sort of script written, and that most actors in the main cast were up for being a part of it.

So this still begs the question I ask the universe: If there is a script for National Treasure 3, why haven’t they finished it and why isn’t it being filmed? I just want to know what’s on page 47!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. How is Paul McCartney able to still put on a FANTASTIC show when he is so OLD?

photo 3 (13)Last week, I had the awesome chance to see the one and only Sir Paul McCartney in concert with my family. It was literally the greatest show I have ever been to. Ever. And, literally, I don’t know how Sir Paul McCartney does it. The man is 72 years old (!) and he played for almost three whole hours, which included TWO encores. He played for this long and did not take one sip of water until he broke for the first encore. NOT ONE SIP OF WATER. Who does that? Sir Paul McCartney, that’s who. Many props to the Beatle for putting on a phenomenal show that was 39 songs long and having more energy for three hours than I usually have for a span of 15 minutes (if I’m lucky).

On top of this, Sir Paul McCartney still sounds almost golden (slumbers). Two summers ago I saw Crosby, Stills & Nash at Ravina (okay, well heard; we had lawn seats) and while I could still tell that they were CSN, I could also tell that they sounded–and looked–very old. A few years ago, I saw James Taylor and Carole King on their Troubador Reunion Tour and they sounded fantastic. My parents saw the Eagles last year and said they sounded almost the same but still a little strained. Sir Paul McCartney sounded very close to his records, Beatles or Wings or otherwise, and it was literally a dream come true. The man literally must have taken some Elixir of Life from Harry Potter or something, because he had the same amount of energy as a four year old who was just given a bag of Pixie Sticks. So, universe, how does Sir Paul McCartney do it?!

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Other slightly less important but still worth sharing philosophical questions I ask the universe on a somewhat frequent basis:

Why isn’t my life a musical?

Why do I have to travel at least 20 minutes for a Starbucks while at home?

Agustus Waters. WHY JOHN GREEN WHY. (Even though I’ve read the book three times and seen the movie three times this is still a very fresh wound.)

How am I still single?

How can I think and actually tweet all of these random and nonsensical thoughts and still have friends in real life?

Why isn’t riding around on a broomstick socially acceptable?

Why are pigeons so creepy?

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